Worry

Someone on Oprah once said "They take the baby out and put the worry in". Such truth... Although I was not a mother back then, it had caught my attention and somehow I remembered it through the years. And seconds after delivering my baby, I "lived" it. When the nurses took him to another room to clean and weigh him, I had already started to worry about him. And it hasn't stopped for the least 2 years, 3 months and 4 days. What's more I actually "understand" why my mom hasn't stopped worrying about me even though I'm almost 33. She was right (as always), you only get it when you become a parent... It's true what they say: Motherhood is 24/7 and lasts a lifetime. No vacations, no retirement.
In the days that followed the birth of my son, the worry only increased. In the first weeks I would regularly check on him to see if he was still  breathing.  These days, I worry about him when I go out and leave him with his father or grandma. I worry if he has eaten, taken his nap, oh and did he ask for me? I even worry when he is the next room. Eventually you get used to living with the worry.(Otherwise you would literally go nuts)
I try not to think about the future; how I am going to leave him by himself in preschool, going out by himself one day, eventually riding public transport, zoom to 16 years later-going off to college-by himself-faster heartbeat-panic attack starting... Like I said I TRY not to think.. I've got enough worries for today!